2023年8月6日发(作者：索维东)

英语口音纠正课程-

Overindulging Se (High Se Types: ESTP ESFP ISTP ISFP)

Due to Se, SPs generally want others to be easygoing, to behave in ways that display a carefree and fun-loving attitude. Naturally attentive to interesting or new experiences, SPs tend to connect with others through sharing enjoyment of physical activities and finding practical ways to be helpful.

• Potential Problems: Overindulging Se can make you too careless in attitude, prone to casually dismissing important issues until they suddenly seem insurmountable. This can result in the other person feeling as though you are not taking the relationship seriously enough or feeling uncertain about how committed you really are (thereby unwilling to commit energy to you in return).
• Crafting Solutions: Realize that maintaining a relationship can be complicated because there are differences that need to be reconciled. No matter how insignificant you think an issue is, if the other person sees it differently, then you have a problem. Therefore, listen more carefully and be more willing to process problems together. Realize that every relationship has its fair share of ups and downs, and it is in having the patience to work through the down times that creates the depth of mutual understanding required for relationships to last. Therefore, avoid being too easily scared off by problems/setbacks and put more effort into resolving differences/disagreements properly. SPs should work on their lower Ni function in order to be more reflective and persevering in relationships.

Overindulging Ne (High Ne Types: ENTP ENFP INTP INFP)

Due to Ne, NPs generally want others to be open-minded, to behave in ways that foster optimism and adventurousness. Naturally attentive to positive possibilities, NPs tend to dream big and look for creative ways to make the most out of life.

• Potential Problems: Overindulging Ne can make you too unrealistic about what is possible in a relationship, prone to overestimating the positives and downplaying the negatives, perhaps continually kicking important negative issues down the road until they become unmanageable. This can result in the other person feeling as though you are never truly content with things as they are or that you cannot be relied upon to address relationship issues carefully.
• Crafting Solutions: Realize that too much fantasy promotes negligence. Some people value stability because they cannot feel justified to invest energy in a relationship when there is no sense of security or commitment. Therefore, avoid changing your mind midstream without good reason or pushing too hard on people’s comfort zones because it can destabilize the relationship if you are not careful about it. Realize that all relationships have their unhappy moments and all couples have their differences to overcome, and it is in learning how to address unhappiness competently that leads to tangible improvement. Therefore, take more time to sit with issues and come up with creative solutions, let people know that you can be counted on in the good times and bad, listen carefully to concerns/criticisms to address problems more realistically. NPs should work on their lower Si function in order to be more attentive and grounded in their attitude.

Overindulging Si (High Si Types: ISTJ ISFJ ESTJ ESFJ)

Due to Si, SJs generally want others to be predictable, to behave in ways that are familiar and to be consistent with what they consider to be important rules of conduct. Naturally attentive to practical details, SJs tend to be careful and thoughtful in how they take care of people, often working humbly behind-the-scenes to serve people’s practical needs.

• Potential Problems: Overindulging Si can make you too irrational in fussing over people unnecessarily or nitpicking their behavior whenever you believe that they do not conform with your expectations. This can result in them feeling frustrated or smothered by the rules you impose.
• Crafting Solutions: Realize that people are complicated. No matter how long you have known someone, they can still surprise you with some hidden depth. Therefore, never assume that what you have seen so far is all there is to them. Realize that some people need more space and freedom to grow through new explorations. Staying within comfort zones for too long can produce boredom and stagnation, therefore, avoid projecting your risk aversion onto others and be more willing to explore new vistas together. SJs should work on their lower Ne function in order to become more flexible and open-minded to change and improvement.

Overindulging Ni (High Ni Types: INTJ INFJ ENTJ ENFJ)

Due to Ni, NJs generally want others to be forward-thinking, to behave in ways that care about implications and longer term vision. Naturally wanting a sense of purpose in life, NJs tend to take relationships quite seriously and do not commit themselves lightly, often attuned to what seems missing/lacking in a relationship.

• Potential Problems: Overindulging Ni can breedperfectionism, perhaps tempted to mold a person or improve a relationship to match your vision while failing to show proper appreciation for the person as they are, thus easily blindsided when the reality of them eventually shows itself. This can result in the other person feeling as though you are too demanding or disgruntled, unable to really acknowledge and accept them, even tiring them out with your unreasonably high expectations.
• Crafting Solutions: Realize that everyone interprets situations differently because each individual assigns “importance” according to their own subjective needs. No matter how much you want to achieve an ideal picture of a relationship, reality has its limitations, therefore, do not spend all of your time preoccupied with “imperfections” and take more time to nurture emotional connection in the present. Realize that everyone needs to find their own meaningful path in life, so do not expect that everyone will agree with you about what you think is important or “for the best”. Be more open to new perspectives as you may learn something that alters/broadens your perspective for the better. Being too narrow or restrictive in your expectations produces chronic ungratefulness and entitlement that drives others away. Therefore, reflect more carefully on your expectations, where they came from, why you’ve adopted them, and whether they are unreasonably high/low. Ensure that there is enough give-and-take and be more willing to go with the flow of the other person’s movements. NJs should work on developing their lower Se function in order to be more humble and adaptable in their approach to others.

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Judging Function Issues

Overindulging Te (High Te Types: ESTJ ENTJ ISTJ INTJ)

Due to Te, TJs generally want others to be tough-minded, to behave in ways that show determination in overcoming setbacks and producing good results. Naturally attentive to efficiency, TJs tend to be assertive and responsible, willing to sacrifice in order to achieve the goals they believe in.

• Potential Problems: Overindulging Te can make you excessively critical of people’s shortcomings, failing to appreciate people’s individuality because of being too focused on harshly judging what they can/can’t do. This might result in the other person feeling unappreciated or misunderstood, unable to feel how much you really care because you express it in entirely the wrong way (i.e. injuring their pride).
• Crafting Solutions: Realize that there is more to life than competence. No matter how much you do for someone, love is best communicated through nurturing POSITIVE feelings and emotions, through accepting people for who they are, through being respectful of their limitations and sensitivities. Therefore, make sure that whatever “help” you offer does not inadvertently invalidate people or damage their self-esteem. Realize that every individual is unique and some people place greater value on learning, exploration, or enjoyment than pure competence. Therefore, be more open-minded in how you evaluate the worth of people, allow people the freedom to be themselves, because they will never discover their own unique strengths if you try to force them into being a pathetic copy of you. TJs should work on their lower Fi function in order to be more emotionally sensitive and accepting of human fragility.

Overindulging Fe (High Fe Types: ESFJ ENFJ ISFJ INFJ)

Due to Fe, FJs generally want others to be agreeable, to behave in ways that facilitate friendliness and cooperation. Naturally attentive to people’s feelings, FJs tend to be kind and compassionate, often willing to go the extra mile to help someone in need or offer emotional support.

• Potential Problems: Overindulging Fe can make you too insecurein relationships because of not setting appropriate emotional boundaries. You might: give/sacrifice more than you should (unequal relationship), become oversensitive to criticism, get desperate for agreement or affirmation, act out inconsistently/hypocritically when your feelings get the better of you, or overstep into issues that shouldn’t concern you. This can result in the other person feeling uneasy, smothered, or confused about what it is you really want from them.
• Crafting Solutions: Realize that not everything someone does is your concern. No matter how much you want to help or how strongly you feel, people are free to have their own beliefs and values and set their own path in life. Therefore, respect everyone’s right to their own private life outside of a relationship, including your own, and this should not be a source of insecurity but rather a source of excitement when two people come together to share their unique offerings. Realize that what you expect from people may not match what they expect because different people want different things out of a relationship. Therefore, to ensure a truly harmonious relationship, nurture open communication and willingness to hear criticism/complaints with fair-mindedness. Remember that it is through difficulty - authentic expression and ownership of negativity, facing up to differences, correcting false assumptions, and calmly negotiating compromises - that two people learn to connect better. FJs should work on their lower Ti function in order to nurture emotional intelligence and healthy (rather than defensive) independence.

Overindulging Ti (High Ti Types: ISTP INTP ESTP ENTP)

Due to Ti, TPs generally want others to be rational, to behave in ways that avoid causing problems unnecessarily. Naturally attentive to factual accuracy, TPs tend to be very independent and approach people matter-of-factly, often learning from past problems to devise easy and straightforward formulas for socializing.

• Potential Problem: Overindulging Ti can make you disconnected from the flow of feelings and emotions that arise during social interaction, perhaps relying too much on reductive formulas about how to “fix” things, perhaps unable to address people’s deepest feelings and concerns. This can result in the other person feeling dismissed, disrespected, or not wanting to invest further time and energy into the relationship when you give the appearance of being emotionally unavailable or closed-off.
• Crafting Solutions: Realize that feelings matter and everyone has emotional needs, including you. No matter how factual or logical you believe yourself to be, you won’t get your point across if you don’t show respect for the other person’s perspective, especially when they’re expressing something related to your blindspots or shortcomings. Therefore, avoid arguing or talking “at” people and do more listening, because disagreement means you could be missing an important point that you hadn’t considered before. Realize that relationships require investment of feeling and emotion - the willingness to share and be vulnerable together - because this allows others to feel secure in knowing that you value them and desire a relationship with them. Therefore, do more tangible things to express that you care and take more time to SHOW appreciation for kind gestures (and reciprocating when appropriate). TPs should work on their lower Fe function to be more emotionally capable and understanding of human foibles.

Overindulging Fi (High Fi Types: ISFP INFP ESFP ENFP)

Due to Fi, FPs generally want others to have integrity, to behave in ways that show sensitivity to personal boundaries and moral preferences. Naturally attentive to individual needs, FPs tend to be loyal and devoted once they commit themselves to a relationship, often doing whatever they can to protect and defend their loved one’s interests.

• Potential Problems: Overindulging Fi can make you ineffectual in a relationship because of focusing too much on differences or disagreements, perhaps: too easily trapped in your own subjectivity, too needy for validation of your identity/uniqueness, too defensive about your beliefs and preferences, dwelling too long in your grievances (unforgiving), or too focused on your own feelings to see the truth about the other person. This can result in them feeling unseen or unable to connect with you, as though speaking over each other instead of truly communicating.
• Crafting Solutions: Realize that people might feel very differently than you. No matter how much you hope that they can share your values, every person has their own unique background and experience that should be honored. Therefore, be more open to learning about your differences without feeling threatened, gather more factual information about the person so that the relationship is grounded in reality and not false projections. Realize that people may not understand how you feel when the differences haven’t yet been discovered and explored. Therefore, be more expressive about your needs, preferences, and values and encourage them to do the same, so that you can both move closer to meeting in the middle. FPs should work on their lower Te function in order to be more objective and reasonable during disagreements.

Unhealthy INTJs…

• Will be extremely rude and arrogant and boastful,believing themselves to be the smartest,single most capable person in a room
• Express insecurity through bragging/fits of anger
• When in the wrong they will argue that they are right until the original argument is forgotten or the other person yields
• Sees relationships and religion and sometimes life entirely as dumb and unimportant
• May perceive school and work as stupid and may give up on such pursuits
• Sees life as fleeting and insignificant
• Wants a lot of things they cannot have
• Desirable but unattainable wealth,partner,status,etc.
• Terrible at friendships and relationships
• Push too fast for things or far too slowly
• Miss emotional cues and make partner feel alienated
• Cannot express emotion

Healthy INTJs…

• Are proud of themselves,more so based on their accomplishments rather than their pure sense of self-importance
• Highly motivated and driven to succeed
• Desire healthy relationships with others,good at maintaining and building relationships
• But only with very,very few people
• Most people are still only considered acquaintances
• Less inclined to bragabout themselves rather than just list achievements over time
• See life as important and something based upon bettering oneself and (eventually)helping others
• Good listeners of people’s problems and can talk about their own problems decently well,though probably willnot be seeking advice
• Still prefer dealing with their own problems
• Set tangible life goals and strive to reach them by realistic means
• Relationships with partners will be steady,long-lasting (as far as it can be helped),and built on trust
• Able to grant appropriate attention to partners as to not make them feel alienated
• For most,treating a partner particularly specially still must be planned beforehand,but they are capable of dealing with spontaneous showers of affection as well
• Aren’t total assholes

INTJ Trauma: How INTJs Deal with and Respond to Past Trauma

When it comes to experiencing trauma everyone has their own ways of handling and coping with what they go through. Of course it often requires certain help from others and serious trauma can also require therapy to find tools and ways to move through it. There are so many different types of trauma,some happen so subtly that we don’t even realize we have endured a truly traumatic experience. It can be difficult to process,especially when you are still involved in the trauma which is bringing you down. This is something which can affect someone’s behavior long-term,and make certain personality types behave in ways which don’t seem to really fit who they normally are. This is why it is important to understand the different ways that trauma can change someone or alter their behavior.

INTJs who have dealt with trauma in their past are likely to cope with that by appearing indifferent to it. They can attempt to bury those emotions,since focusing on their own inner feelings is not as natural for the INTJ. Instead they prefer to focus on logic and things which are more tangible,rather than things which they don’t have proven methods to cope with. Emotions can feel difficult to tackle for the INTJ,which is why processing their trauma is often a challenge for them in life. If they have endured something truly traumatic,the INTJ is likely to act as if they are fine with it and have moved on. Behaving as if this is just in the past and something which happens to many people,doesn’t necessarily mean that the INTJ is handling it as great as they would like it to seem.

INTJ Childhood Trauma

Dealing with trauma from a young age is definitely going to alter the way the INTJ views the world. They likely become withdrawn and don’t really know how to respond to people in social settings,and can even be prone to certain outbursts. The INTJ will feel like they cannot rely on or trust others,struggling to allow themselves to be vulnerable. While this is something most INTJs can deal with,a healthy INTJs finds it easier to open up to someone once they trust them. They might never be expressive people,but they do seek out connections and want to be able to feel close to someone. Trusting becomes much harder for the INTJ who endured trauma during their childhood,especially if they have not found a way to process and deal with this experience. They likely are seen as strange children,since they don’t express what is wrong with them and can appear rather stoic. INTJs can feel misunderstood from a young age and dealing with trauma or PTSD definitely does not improve this for them.

How Trauma Changes The INTJ

INTJs are normally very rational people who prefer to focus on facts and logic,while the INTJ who has endured serious trauma may exhibit different behaviors. They can find themselves slipping into their shadow,or focusing on their inferior function more than anything else. This version of the INTJ starts to place a serious weight on morals and what they believe is right or wrong. They are likely extremely stubborn and unmoving,and find it difficult to have their minds changed about anything. Ordinarily INTJs do have a stubborn side,but they are capable of hearing people out if they present them with accurate information. The INTJ who has been abused and has not processed this trauma,is likely to struggle when it comes to seeing beyond their own point of view. They stand firm on these morals and ideals they have developed,and don’t allow anything to make them waver. This can sometimes cause them to overlook things which they would normally perceive as factual,in favor of those inner morals and beliefs. The INTJ might even show signs of more reckless behavior,indulging in things that feel good rather than things which they should be focusing on. Normally they would be drawn to building a future and seeing how their actions will alter this,but serious trauma can hinder this desire for the INTJ. Some INTJs who find that this trauma continues to fester,go a completely opposite route and become disconnected from morals entirely. They focus on things they can tangibly process but do this to such a severe degree that they don’t have much care for how it can affect others or if it is a morally sound choice.

INTJ Coping with Trauma

For some INTJs coping with this trauma can be a challenge,as dealing with and processing it the right way might not be their go-to response. They might ignore this trauma for a long time,preferring to focus on things which make more sense to them. Of course,ignoring and neglecting their inner pain does not make it go away,it often just makes the INTJ feel rather numb and disconnected. They likely distance themselves from others and find that they are going through the motions when this occurs. It is important for the INTJ to actively seek out means of healing,sometimes professional help is necessary in this case. Continuing to go through the cycle of denying their feelings or trauma is only going to make the situation worse for them as time goes on. Connecting with people who understand and can relate is actually surprisingly helpful for the INTJ,even if they can be hesitant to this at first. Feeling a sense of connection and not allowing themselves to completely distance from the world is often necessary for the healing process. It takes time for anyone to heal when they have dealt with trauma,but understanding that it is normal and not feeling disconnected are important ways to move on. The INTJ needs to recognize that it is illogical and inefficient to just bury those feelings inside,as no one is capable of just moving on without finding a way to process what they have been through.

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